This week many people are in the DC area on spring break. Unfortunately, the weather is more winter than spring like. You can tell the tourists – they are the ones in shorts with the “I heart DC” sweatshirts on.  Isn’t weather.com or the like available all over? I mean, would you really go on vacation and not check the weather? I know it is supposed to be springtime but it’s not like DC is Florida – cool weather can be expected. These people are ill-prepared. Even without the snow we got this week.

The neon sweatshirts are covering the matching t-shirts you see so many families wearing these days while on a trip. Thank God this was not popular when I was a kid. Our parents were expected to keep track of us and not depend on matching shirts to ID us in a crowd.  It is one thing for a family the size of the Duggars, 19 or so kids, to depend on matching clothes. After all, that is a lot of young ones to watch but if you are a family of 4, it seems ridiculous.  That’s a one to one ratio of child to adult. If you are that neglectful of a parent that you can’t keep track of one child, you shouldn’t go on vacation.

Working downtown, I will get stopped and asked questions and for directions. Two of my favorites are:

1. A family stops and asks me if that McDonald’s (pointing to the one down the street) is like the McDonald’s they have at home. I want to say “Is your McDonald’s full of homeless people and does it have slow service? If so, then yes.”  The WHOLE point of McDonald’s and other chains is that you get the same stuff in each place. Duh.

2. One family asked me where the Wax Museum was. I gave detailed directions – cross streets and landmarks. Then someone in the group asked me “Are you sure?”  If I looked like that much of a dumb ass that even after all those details you doubt me, why bother asking? Go bother someone else.

Enjoy your visit. We need your money and you provide entertainment. If you need directions, ask someone who isn’t wearing a matching outfit with anyone else in the area. We are the ones that live here.