In early January, Tracy Grant wrote in The Washington Post  –  “So I offer up an alternate resolution for the rest of the 2013: Be a more neglectful parent. I’m not actually advocating neglect — just a little less hovering, a little less worrying, a little less intervening. If we give it a try, we might just wind up with less gray hair and better relationships with our kids by year’s end.”

 I have taken these words to heart.  I generally have no idea what’s going on school work-wise with my 7th grader. Actually, I’ve had this attitude since she was in 2nd grade. 

We are fortunate that our child is self motivated. We don’t don’t have to sit on her to make her do her school work. She does it on her own. I honestly don’t ask about it unless she asks a question. Which is good, since there’s a 50/50 chance that I would be able to answer anyhow.

This lax attitude serves us well as home but at our recent PTA meeting, I found myself totally lost during a discussion about the current math curriculum and the new one being implemented.  These other parents know all about the changes. I was trying to remember what math class my daughter was in. Have I taken this neglectful parenting too far? 

Sure, I want my daughter to go to the college of her choice and sure, I want her to be challenged but not overwhelmed but I’m not exactly sure I can influence all this. If the school recommends her for a math class, who am I to argue? If it were up to me, I would have kept her in 4th grade math, the last grade level of math that I felt comfortable helping her with.

I don’t think being neglectful, in this sense, excludes me from being a good advocate for my daughter and her educational needs. I just look at things differently, I’m a bit more focused on a balance between academics and making sure she knows, A’s B’s or E’s (no F’s – that hurts their self-esteem), she’s still a great kid. That may be neglectful, but I’m ok with that.