When I upgraded my phone at the end of last year to an IPhone, I was super excited about Siri. I was famous for sending texts that were unreadable in the English language. I’d have gotten one letter off somewhere in the text, not noticed and sent it. I can’t tell you how many texts I got back asking if I was ok. Siri was going to be able to take my verbal messages, turn them in to readable messages and send them. That was until Siri and I ran into a problem. She’s a pain in the ass.

First of all, she doesn’t seem to always get what I am saying. Someone at work said it was my accent. Hmm…not sure I really have a strong accent, at least one she can’t understand. Kathryn told me that was because I use her name and say thank you and please – Siri doesn’t get that. So I dropped the common courtesies and began barking texts to her – “Text Kathryn “Wash the dishes.”  Siri: “I will text Kathryn “Watch the dishes. Ready to send?” Honestly, that’s about the same kind of text I could send myself. Good Lord, I will just call Kathryn.

Secondly, when I ask her for other things like directions, she can never find the place. “I can’t locate xxx.” I could be sitting in front of the place and she can’t find it. Friday I was trying to go to a floral wholesaler right after work. I had a general idea how to get there but thought I would engage Siri just to be sure. “Directions to Potomac Floral Wholesale”  Siri “I can’t locate Potomac Floral Wholesale.” Of course not.

I say it again, this time adding the street name. She tells me now to choose from 4 options. It is the first one. I get there but unfortunately, it is closed for walk-ins, I have to go back on Saturday.

I remembered the majority of the directions there but she’d had me cut through a neighborhood and I didn’t remember those street names. I figured, since we’d been there the day before, she’d have no problem with finding the directions. “Directions to Potomac Floral Wholesale.” “I can’t locate Potomac Floral Wholesale”

After a semi-mad laugh out loud, I asked Siri “Why you act so crazy?” Siri responded “This isn’t about me, it’s about you.”

Hell, she’s smarter than I thought.