During the season, we watch a fair amount of baseball games on TV. The commentators, needing to fill time, say some very boring things. Honestly, it seems as if they are paid by the word.  If I were a commentator, the game would be second to discussing people in the audience, the player’s personal lives and general baseball gossip. I think I could make a somewhat slow game, a bit more interesting.

Who does all the baseball team’s laundry? That’s my burning question. Do they have a ton of uniforms so when they are out on the road, there’s no need to worry about laundry. Do they really get out those stains out from sliding and fielding or do they just throw those pants out? Is there an industrial laundry room at Nats Park? If I were a commentator, I’d find out and tell you.

I would tell you things like the number of players that do the sign of the cross before batting versus the number of players that don’t (obvious heathens). I’d find out why all the baseball managers lack the ability to smile. I’d give a run down on single players, you know, giving them a little help to find a mate. They are busy – not easy to meet people. I guess I’d have to have a partner who was better with the stats and stuff. A good balance I believe.

I’m too late for this season but maybe next…

This isn’t really a baseball song per se…enjoy!