Today Mike and I were out at the mall. While he was looking for shoes, I was milling around in the store. There were a few displays with signs over them that said something along the lines of “Perfect Gifts for your White Elephant Gift Exchange.”  This sign should have read “Crap People Don’t Want or Need.” I made a bee line for them.

The first display had items with a hunting theme. While I don’t know a lot of hunters, I do know people who would appreciate some of the items. Actually, only one person came to mind – my sister.

The first item that caught my eye was a 3-D puzzle which when completed, looked like a moose head mounted on a wall. My thought was to give it to my nephew Liam, who loves puzzles, and once he completes it, he could give it to her. She couldn’t not display it. She wouldn’t be a fan but she wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings either. It would be fantastic.

I then noticed a huge cow bell. Seems like ringing a cow bell wouldn’t be the way to successfully sneak up on an animal while hunting but who knows? I’m not a hunter. Maybe you use it if you fall out of the tree stand or accidentally shoot the person who is hunting with you. I’m not sure but I know my sister needed a cow bell.

I’ve actually joked about having a cow bell since I attended my first cross country meet a few years ago. My stepson Jonathan was running and I went to watch. There was a mom next to me with a huge, loud cow bell which she rang pretty much the entire meet while she screamed “Go baby, you go” and “That’s my baby – look at you go.” I offered to obtain a bell and work on my cheers for Jonathan but he assured me it wasn’t necessary. In fact, I’ve offered that kind of support for all the kids, regardless of the sports, even now with Kathryn in band, but they all give me the same look and response. Just trying to be supportive.

Anyhow, my nephew Max runs cross country and Kathleen needs a bell to show she cares. I immediately took a picture, sent it to her asking what Max’s school colors are. The best part of the cow bell was the fact that the top of the handle doubled as a bottle opener. That way you can also drink while using it thus fueling your cheering and ringing abilities.

There were a few other items like bottle openers that have a top that looked like a mounted bear or moose. That, at least, is useful. More useful was the next display that had ice scrapers shaped like cat claws and other animal paws. I know each year something is popular – maybe this is the year of the animal.

The next display was devoted to drinking. There was a flask that was at least as big as a sheet of notebook paper. Then there were small flasks with cute sayings on them. There were more bottle openers. There were wine glasses the size of a gallon of milk. Who doesn’t need these items?

The best part?  All of this fine stuff was on sale for the Columbus Day holiday. The cow bell was only $11.99 on sale. Christmas discounts in October. Sure, some of you have already finished your shopping. And to you I say, how nice. I’ll get started after bedazzling that cow bell for my sister.