I hate this time of year when Kathryn has to pick classes for the following school year. So many choices and yet, there seem to be none. Her class path was picked out for her probably in the 6^th grade. And, should she venture off that path, the message she gets is that it will hurt her chances to get into college.

In the US, there are what, thousands of colleges but because she doesn’t take a certain class, no one will take her? Because our county is going to stop requiring final exams, she won’t get in anywhere? Stop telling my kid she’s not getting into college!

Just to explain my point of view – I believe a college education is good but not everyone is interested in pursuing that type of schooling and that’s ok. While a college graduate does have many opportunities, so do other paths so the constant pressure on high school kids (and younger) isn’t always beneficial. Also, there’s a college for everyone if you are interested in going. Sure, there are constraints – grades, finances and location, but really, regardless if you are 1^st in your class or somewhere in the middle, there’s a place for you on the college scene.

No one will ever mistake me for a Tiger Mom or even a Helicopter parent. Maybe because Kathryn is the fourth child to go through all this or maybe because it’s gotten so crazy part of me has shut down so I don’t get sucked up in the vortex, I just try keep a level head about her future. Sure, I can be a mama bear when needed but I’m basically hands-off. Why?

Because college or trade school or work or whatever is HER future, HER dreams. I see my role as a parent as a facilitator. I’m here to help guide her, connect her with information or people to assist her and listen and offer advice, but I’m not going to be writing college applications, or steering her to the school or career of my dreams. I’ll push her when needed and tell her to relax when she needs that said too. Homework is her job and if she doesn’t do it, she knows the consequences. Sure, I can try and help, but I can’t even pronounce most of the vocabulary words from Spanish or understand her math assignments. And I will also tell her, that no one school will make or break your future. And if you don’t take Spanish 4, guess what? All will be well.

Yesterday we were discussing next year’s schedule and she said she wanted to take another class instead of Spanish 4 but her teachers were pushing for Spanish.  I said I thought that was fine to take the other class but if she was concerned, she should take a look at a few college websites and see what the requirements are. That way, regardless of what she decided, she would have all the facts.

After I said that I wondered if I was being too easy, not pushing her etc. So I said to Kathryn “All I can offer is that when you are my age, you won’t remember what Spanish class you took or likely anything from it.” Kathryn responded “Obviously.”  Then I realized with a smile, I’m doing ok with her. If only there was a Smart Ass University, she’d not worry so much.