Last weekend at my family reunion, my cousin Kathy mentioned that one of her doctor’s offices told her that they can’t accommodate the apostrophe in her last name anymore. Their computer system doesn’t allow the apostrophe in O’Kane. As Kathy told  the woman working at that office, you can’t just change the spelling of someone’s last name. When you spell it OKane or Okane, you change more than the spelling. You erase the ethnicity of the name. You change the pronunciation.

Growing up an O’Kane, it seemed the easiest name to say or spell to me. I mean, you say it as it is spelled. Yet, people would always ask how to spell it or pronounce it wrong. I went to vacation bible school with a friend and the teacher there called me “Eileen Oaken.” That’s 0 for 2 names said correctly. Then I would get “O-Cahn-nee” like it was Hawaiian.  Mispronouncing my last name took away who my identity.

Now that I’m a Motley (with O’Kane as my middle name), I still get the mispronunciation. Again, most people have seen the word “motley” before, yet they want to say “Moat-ly.” When people ask how to spell it, I will say “Motley, like in crue (crew)”. Then they get it. We’ve sat through many an awards ceremony only to have one of the kids names called out incorrectly. It’s a bit deflating.

The other major name changing news in my world is the renaming of my high school. The Fairfax County School Board has recently voted to rename my high school, J.E.B  Stuart High School to Justice High. This decision has caused quite a stir on the alumni boards on Facebook resulting in name calling and crazy, angry arguments. I no longer live in that community and therefore, I feel I no longer have a voice on the name change. If the people in that community feel it is important, then it is.

A few alums, who are famous (and don’t live there as far as I know), voiced their opinion that the name should be changed. Their name recognition might have brought attention to this whole name change idea but they have a right to express their opinion. If people believe that the opinion of famous people are more important or carry more weight than their own, that’s another issue. Famous people can express their opinions too.

Seems to me the real issue for current Fairfax County residents is the fact that there was a community poll taken on new name ideas, which the school board ignored and on top of that, the county seems to have made the directive to change the name with no idea how to pay for it. Outside of a request for donations, which seems crazy. This is the tip of the iceberg in the county as so many other school names might now need to be changed. There needs to be a plan on how to change and fund the changes, if that’s what the local communities want.

Watching the craziness around the renaming of the high school goes to show names matter, your own and those you feel attached to, whatever the reason. A school name really means little, it’s the people who made it the place it was. No one can take away those bonds unless you let them. On the other hand, if someone randomly decides to change the spelling of your name, that’s something to argue about because the dropping of one little apostrophe can change your whole identity.  Aloha!