Many years ago I worked with a guy whose girlfriend was accused of defecating on the floor of the bathroom at her job. I know this because he freely told us, his brand new coworkers, of the situation. No lie – he’d either just started that day or it was the very next day. He received a call and since we shared an office, I got to hear his side of the conversation. Being the busy-body that I am, I asked if everything was ok. He explained his girlfriend had been accused of going on the bathroom floor but it was not true. He was very agitated and if I’m honest, sometimes I’m not the best in those situations. So maybe the comment “perhaps she can sue for defecation of character” was witty, but not appropriate.

I can tell you a few things I know for sure. If I ever got accused of defecating on the floor anywhere, I would not call or tell anyone. EVER.  I certainly would not be calling my significant other to share that news. I think I feel that way because I’m not sure what’s worse – doing it or being accused of it. I mean, how must others see if you if they think you were capable of crapping on the floor at work or in any location? I would do some serious soul-searching should I ever find myself accused.

Of course this story came to mind tonight after the reports that Trump hired hookers to whiz on a bed he thought the Obamas had slept in. Again I find myself wondering if the mere fact that this is reported is any less bad than if it is true. The fact that anyone would suggest this and upon hearing it, someone might think it is true, is troubling, especially about a president-elect. I’ve seen some hilarious jokes and comments about this tonight and I think you have to laugh or you will cry. Serious tears that this behavior doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibility.

It’s not a liberal thing or a conservative thing to be shocked, appalled or in denial about this report. It’s a decency thing. If true, the total lack of respect for the office he’s about to take is disgusting. If false, well, as I said about myself, he might want to do some soul-searching to understand why this doesn’t seem to be an impossible scenario.  Of course, reading the headlines, I almost wet my pants laughing. Sympathy whizzing, I’m calling it.

I told you, I’m not great in these situations.

Ed Sheeran can personally thank me for helping him break a record on Friday for the number of streams for his new songs “Castle On The Hill” and “Shape of You”. Both had over 6 million streams, the later song, close to 7 million. I was one of the ones that played “Castle on The Hill” incessantly. Again and again, in a controlled, but slightly manic manner, until I knew the words.

As I posted on Facebook on Friday, the lines below made me laugh out loud:

We’d buy cheap spirits and drink them straight

Me and my friends have not thrown up in so long, oh how we’ve grown

I think it was the trueness in those lines, the realness of them that both made me laugh and hooked me.  We all have a point where we felt we were grown – real adults. Some imaginary line in the sand that we’ve drawn for ourselves. Mine was when I could afford to buy furniture that didn’t need to be put together. Didn’t mean I didn’t buy that kind of furniture (ok, IKEA) anymore, just that I had a choice. That to me, was adulthood.

Ed is younger than me by a few years or so (I’m being kind to myself here) but he’s captured that longing that I thought you only got as you aged. Maybe, with his crazy schedule, he’s felt it earlier than most.

I’m one of those people who still have friends from early childhood. Long before social media I managed to keep up with them. As Ed says “…these people raised me” and that’s how I feel about those guys. No time or distance alters those relationships. Sure we don’t see each other all the time but truthfully, once together, it’s like old times. I think that’s why I loved this song so. It takes me home. Takes me back and I know exactly the feeling he’s talking about and there’s little to compare to it.

But these people raised me

And I can’t wait to go home

This morning I woke up remembering a dream I had overnight where I was at my brother in law Jeff’s office. I looked out the window in his office to see wild boars with squirrels riding on their backs. This dream was not a result of excessive drinking last night. Jeff is a psychologist – I might need to start seeing him on a professional basis…Really, WTH?

At least my nightmare was just a dream. Mariah Carey probably woke up this morning wishing last night’s performance was a bad dream. Poor thing. Such talent but it seems there’s always an issue. Remember that Christmas special where she sang so terribly off key? Guess that’s why they did the lip-syncing only to have that backfire as well. And then there’s Ronda Rousey and her botched comeback. I don’t get that “sport” she’s involved in at all – boxing with kicking allowed or something like that. Her 2017 isn’t starting off as she planned but there’s plenty of time to turn it around. Or better yet, find something different to do.

I’ve read a number of fantastic FB postings of people looking to make 2017 a good year. I’ve read a number of great resolutions or maybe better labeled, mottos for the year. I’m still deciding. I have one standing resolution: to see more people in person versus just on Facebook.  There really is nothing better than an in person get together. My stepson Matthew had a good one – make sure the items on your calendar are aligned with the things that mean the most to you. I think that’s an excellent way to frame how I am going to spend my time and efforts in 2017.  For those of you who know Matthew and now are really worried that I’m now taking his advice, I should say he heard that gem from his yoga teacher. Or, as I noted, I might need professional help. 🙂

New Year’s Day happens to be my dad’s birthday too. While I remember him often, today as I looked around my house and saw photos of him, some of the artwork from his house on my walls and of course, the plant he gave me with the instructions “Don’t kill this. Anna gave it to me”, I’m reminded he’s here all the time. And I haven’t killed the plant! He’s here in the under the eyebrow look Kathryn gives me and in the dry humor we share. His birthday is a good reminder to make a resolution to spend time with the ones you love because they aren’t here forever.

So, here’s to a great year. Whatever your resolution is, I wish you great success. I’m going to be checking my calendar to make sure my commitments are meaningful, seeing the people I love and remembering to try and see friends in person now and again. Oh, and maybe buying a book on dreams.

Last Friday, as school was letting out for winter break, one of Kathryn’s teachers sent out an email reminding students and parents about an assignment she’d given them to do over the break.

I wanted to write back:

Dear Teacher,

Thanks for the note. I’m not making Kathryn do this assignment. I’m hoping she does nothing over the break but hang out, rest and enjoy the time off from the constant pressure of school.  I hope the same for you. I hope you don’t pick up anything to grade or do any planning. Hang out, rest and enjoy your time off.

Love,

Ellen

Obviously I didn’t send any note and Kathryn will do the assignment on her own. I’m not going to ask about it. I sincerely believe that no teacher should give homework over the break. It’s a time kids will be traveling or spending time with family. They need a break. After all, there seem to be assignments almost every weekend. Can’t we have one week where the kids get a chance to be a kid? Is that too much to ask? And before my teacher friends get offended, I truly wish the same for you. A break. Just like what the school calendar says, a winter break. You need it too, right?

With only one more year before Kathryn is out of high school, I won’t be getting all crazy  and storming the School Board or anything, but, it would be nice if as a collective group of adults who care about the kids, we thought more about balance in their lives instead of always pushing them. Cause just like us adults, kids are a lot more lovable when they aren’t stressed to the maxed or overworked. Practicing work/life balance – that’s an assignment I can agree with working on over break.

When I taught religious education, we would talk about how Mary was only about 14 when she gave birth to Jesus. If you ever want to see kids get wide-eye, spring that little tidbit on them. A number of them had sisters around that age, who according to their reactions, shouldn’t be left to care for a pet rock, much let the Son of God.

During his homily last Sunday, our deacon shared a recent SNL skit about the nativity. Since I go to bed too early, I didn’t see it when it was on but watched it when I got home. It’s pretty funny and worth a watch. The kids had expectations that Mary would be like their moms – someone who might have some experience taking care of babies. In the skit, Mary had expectations too – she thought that as the carrier of the Savior, there might be better amenities when giving birth – a bed, a doctor, a place without sheep poop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRO5TXp5hSs

The holidays are full of expectations. Not just Christmas but the New Year as well. Today, on Christmas Eve, the day is filled with last minute errands and worries. Some of us thrive on the expectations and others are crippled by them. Some are forced upon us while others we force on ourselves. Let’s all take a deep breath and just enjoy. It’s all good enough. The food, the gifts and especially us.  God trusted a young teenager with his only son, let’s have that same trust in ourselves.

Tonight my stepson Jonathan is on his way home from NC. He originally said he was going to leave around 1:30. This morning I asked him to please text when he left so we’d have an idea whether he would be here for dinner. At 4:30 when he sent a note he was leaving a little late and would be home in 4 hours, we all laughed. Good luck with that. Meanwhile, Kathryn and Mike had an opportunity to get some tickets for the Caps game, so off they went with Mike saying they’d probably be home before Jonathan.

I can remember coming home for holidays and even when I was out on my own, as Jonathan is, there is something wonderful about returning home. Maybe it’s the anticipation of a little spoiling or the comfort of sleeping once again in your old bed. In Jonathan’s case, it’s probably the anticipation of food he likes but doesn’t make for himself. You don’t have to worry about leftovers when he’s here.

Although Matthew only lives about 10 minutes from us, he’ll probably stay tomorrow night so we aren’t waiting all day for him on Christmas. Early mornings aren’t his thing but it’s Christmas and Kathryn will be up bright and early. Better to have him here than waiting on him as sometimes he takes the time you ask him to be here as a mere suggestion. We won’t see Kristina until January when she visits from CA. We’ll FaceTime her nice and early Christmas day so she won’t feel left out. I’m sure she will love that!

The house will be loud the next week or so. Jonathan’s friends have always used our house as their hangout and even though they now own their own places, somehow they migrate back here. We do enjoy catching up with them and it will be good to hear their laughter from downstairs as they hang out and catch up with each other.

So here’s hoping we see Jonathan this evening sometime. I hope he wasn’t expecting a huge welcome and it’s just me and Smokey and it is almost time for Smokey’s pre-bed nap. I have a feeling as long as there’s food when he gets here, it will be the welcome he was expecting.

Today is Throwback Thursday. In thinking of Christmas’ past, one of my favorite ones was in 2003. This was the Christmas following Hurricane Isabel. Richmond, where my sister and her family live, was hit particularly hard.  They lost a number of trees in their yard and a significant amount of time was spent with a chainsaw chopping them up following the storm.

As I was cutting through Sears one day at the mall that fall, I saw a fake chainsaw perfect for a child. Because aunts, godmothers and the like are allowed to buy the worst toys ever for the kids they love without repercussions, I bought that for my nephew Liam. It came with goggles and as I recall made some sort of loud noise.  I think I did ask my sister first so she knew it was coming. As you can imagine, Liam, who must have been 2 or so, loved it. 

As you can see from the picture, he took the safety goggles seriously and his sister Helen was nice enough to allow him to chop her up.  The chainsaw was a lot of fun as was the whole day. It was a warm day and the kids played outside. Kathryn received a ballet tutu as a gift and she wore that as her cousin Max drove her around in his electric jeep. We even got the older kids outside! While we’ve generally gone back and forth hosting Christmas, the last few years we’ve met my sister and her family halfway in a restaurant. Coincidently, Kathryn and her cousins both asked that we meet at someone’s house again this year. It’s wonderful that they want to spend time together. We are heading back to Kathleen’s house. Maybe she can find that chainsaw…

Today’s song is a throwback too. It’s Andy Williams singing “Happy Holidays”. All the songs from that era had a big sound – orchestra or band behind them. I feel like all you have to hear is the first few bars of a song from that era and you know exactly when it was done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8W2ZyDNk8w

Each night when I get home and am doing a few things around the house, I’ll put on Christmas music. Kathryn is at the barn a couple of nights a week and Mike gets home later than I do so I can play whatever I like. I’ve been playing some of the tunes from Natalie MacMaster and Donnell Leahy’s new Christmas album “A Celtic Family Christmas” this week. I tend to go in binges of listening to the same music a few nights in a row and then move on to something else.

I’ve been enjoying this particular song of Christmas favorites. It’s nice sometimes to just hear the music. No singing besides my own. That way, my wonderful voice can shine through – LOL. That’s why I play this before anyone’s home so only the dog and guinea pig are tortured with my enthusiastic but unremarkable singing.  There are a few songs on their album with their kids (I’m guessing) singing but I really do prefer the music-only carols. They are such talented musicians so why not let the focus being on them?

Hope you enjoy it as well.  And be sure to sing, I know you know the words!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc_EGXQkpww

Recently someone said that I wrote exactly the way I spoke. I took this to mean my writing voice was authentic but after reflection I have to wonder if they meant I’m just equally dopey in both voice and word. Ha – I guess I can’t hid the truth!  Someone who is wonderful with words especially in the raw honest way she writes, is my friend Vicky. Tonight I am sharing a link to an article about her Christmas experience this year following the death of her dad in the spring. It is a very truthful piece about surviving the holidays during a period of sadness.

http://www.thejournal.ie/readme/what-is-it-like-to-lose-a-parent-3134916-Dec2016/?utm_source=shortlink

My own extended family with be missing loved ones this year – my Uncle Jack passed away earlier this year and our great-niece, Natalia, just 6 months, passed in July. One lived a long life and the other was here a short time. Both will be terribly missed this holiday season. As Vicky notes, grief is the last big taboo that no-one wants to talk. Especially this time of year, But let us all try to be the “wonderful, kind and compassionate creatures” who have walked her through her dark days to those we know are hurting. Maybe it isn’t a physical loss but an emotional one. Maybe it is distance. Maybe a break up.

Thanks to Pandora, I heard a Christmas song I’d never listened to before, “Maybe This Christmas” written by Ron Sexsmith. I’m familiar with him and his appearances with Jesse Cook, a Canadian guitarist but didn’t realize he wrote a few Christmas songs too. It’s hopeful but there’s something raw about it as well. It seemed to fit.

When I sat down to write my blog last night, nothing really came to me. There were a few disjointed ideas and I finally gave up. Honestly, given the events yesterday around the world, it was hard to feel the hope that this season brings. It’s hard to feel festive when you’ve heard the news of the assignation in Turkey and the attack in Berlin. Hard to get that festive spirit back after waiting for the “Checked in Safe” Facebook status of a friend in Berlin.

These events seem even more awful during the holidays. I’ve always felt there a bit of unwritten rule that you don’t do things like this during religious holiday times but with all the different religions and celebrations that would probably mean the whole year was off-limits, which isn’t bad unless your plan is to carry out some sort of attack.

I often think as we’ve “progressed” as a society – working so hard to accept everyone and everything, we’ve actually become less accepting. Growing up it seemed if someone wasn’t Christian for example, you might have asked if they celebrate Christmas and when they said no, you said ok and moved on. Didn’t dwell on the differences. Just let it go. It really didn’t matter. We didn’t label people with so many tags. You accepted people as they were. Sure, someone might be different than you, but that’s who they were. Not such a big deal.

I know that sounds a bit naïve and I feel we’ve obviously made progress overall yet we’ve still managed to alienate people. People who then feeling no hope or other way to express themselves end up in the middle of yet another shooting or other violent event here or abroad. I know there are regions of the world where fighting has existed forever. The horrors in those regions exist every day. The violence in so many places is overwhelming.

So this morning I pick the Christmas song “Welcome to Our World” and take the line “Bring your peace into our violence” as a prayer for us all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrgwL5r7IcU