Sundays always seem like a good day to take stock of the previous week and look ahead to the week before us. As I was doing the dishes tonight and thinking of last week, I thought of a couple of conversations with friends and coworkers who have taken situations that most of us would consider a heartache and instead looked for the lessons learned or “blessings” found within.

Hard to understand how someone facing a serious illness sees that as a blessing but we hear that all the time. Maybe they are more thankful for each day, or more appreciative for the people they know etc. Twice this week I’ve heard people talk about their aging parents with dementia and how caring for them is the last great lesson their parents will teach them. Lessons in patience and love and finding a nugget of joy in each day.

We see great things come from great sorrow. Look at Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD) and the difference that group has made in the way we, as a nation, look at driving and driving. Think about all the money raised for research for diseases by families after people have lost a loved one.

So tonight I thought I would pick “Blessings” from my IPod. While it is a religious song, you don’t have to be religious to frame bad experiences or situations in a way that gives them new meaning.

Today I had to go into the bank. Actually into the bank. Who does that anymore? Well, as I found out,  a lot of people on Saturday. I lost my debit card a few weeks back, got a new one and then promptly lost the PIN. I could still use the card for point of sale purchases but couldn’t get money out etc. Does cut down on your spending when you have no cash.

There was a young gentleman who tried to avoid helping me but his coworker busted him and he had to come out of his office and assist me. I explained I wanted to reset my PIN but you can’t do that. They have to give you a new card. They produce it at the bank but oddly it does not have raised numbers on the front. In fact, it looks like something that would come with a grocery store play set but it works and I know the PIN.

We got chatting about cards and I asked about whether we would be getting new chip and pin cards. This really got him excited and since I spent many years researching credit cards for clients and now run the corporate card program at work, we had quite the conversation. We also had been chatting about how much longer checks would exist.  Seems so strange that checks wouldn’t exist but that’s progress, I suppose. Just this week, I was in a meeting with our bankers at work and we were talking about how anyone you write a check to has the info they need to produce a fake check. Crazy.

Remember the “Friends ” episode where Monica befriends the woman who stole her credit card and starts hanging out with her? The woman was having a great life on other people’s cards. I guess if I ever get my info compromised, I hope the person goes sky diving or bungee jumping and just doesn’t head for Best Buy. If you are going to pretend to be someone else, go be someone interesting!

I’ve been hearing a lot about this new film on Amy Winehouse.. Most of what I’ve read about it paints it as a good depiction of her life and helps you to appreciate her music, generous spirit and humor. I’m half tempted to see it but I already get People magazine, so can there really be more to say about her?

One of my favorite songs from her is “Tears Dry On Their Own” and I believe everyone should take to heart these words from the song:

I should just be my own best friend
Not fuck my self in the head with stupid men

You can change men to women, if needed. It’s good advice for anyone dating or in a relationship.

Tonight I watched Naked Dating for the first time. I missed the ending so I’m not sure how everyone did finding a relationship, but it was quite the show. Sort of speed dating, but naked. Even when they could wear clothes, they didn’t. One pair did naked yoga. Practically  the whole TV screen was blurred out.

Hard to imagine that any lasting relationships came of it. The Naked Dating gang should take Amy’s advice and be their own best friend, cause I’m thinking your best friend wouldn’t encourage you to be on that show. Well, depends on your friends I guess…

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Today I heard Huey Lewis and The News on the radio twice on my way to work. Once I got to my desk, I immediately looked online to see if Huey had died. Just seemed strange to hear him twice in a 45 minute period when I almost never hear him on the radio. Good news – Huey is still alive. Just a coincidence.

The other song I’ve heard a number of times recently is Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach.”  With all her hits, seems strange that that’s the song they would resurrect. Maybe it is in some movie soundtrack this summer.

One summer when I was in college, my dad helped me get a job at a radio station, now Mix 107.3, calling people and running through a list of songs and asking, on a scale of one to ten, if they liked the song. They used that data to then determine which songs were rotated in the playlist more often. That was the summer the Eurythmics were becoming popular and “Sweet Dreams” was big. I, of course, would stumble over the pronunciation of their name, which seems ridiculous now, but it was strange back then.

The job was pretty good although I only worked about 4 hours a day and had to drive from Falls Church to Bethesda to get there. Isn’t that far but I think I started at 5pm which put me right in the middle of rush hour trying to get there. One night, there was an accident on the American Legion Bridge (at that time it was the Cabin John Bridge) and I never made it to work. In fact, it took me 5 hours to loop back home via the George Washington Parkway through Rosslyn and then up Route 50 to get home. As it was summer, it was a sweltering day and we were literally parked on the beltway. What an evening. With the limited hours, I didn’t earn a lot that summer but I did earn enough to buy a decent camera that I needed for my photojournalism class. I still have that camera.

1983 was a good year for music. One of the other songs that was big that summer was “Jeopardy” by The Greg Kihn Band. When I hear it or play it now, I still turn the volume way up. Only way that song should be played.

Tonight I met my friend Paru after work. She’s in town for a visit and the plan was to meet at her hotel and walk down to Mr. Smith’s. We used to frequent it when it was on M Street, back in the day. Mr. Smith’s has since moved to K Street and it was a bit more of a walk that we were up for, especially in the monsoon that came through, so we hit another old favorite, The Front Page.

We spent time reminiscing about nights out and places we’d been when we worked together when we were in our 20’s.  We concluded that in our mind, we believe we are 28 – a good age – not too young and not too old. Oddly, our 28 year old minds can’t remember the names of places or people anymore. Funny how that is.

We both clearly remember a night out when we got dancing with two nerdy accountants. I work with accountants now and I can attest they aren’t all nerdy. But these two, were quite nerdy. We were out dancing and the song “That’s What I Like About You” by the Romantics came on. My partner was quite into it and every time they sang the word “you” he would point at me.

Oh, how I love not being single anymore.

It hasn’t been a great week for women and it is only Tuesday.

After the fantastic soccer victory on Sunday, we find out (although we probably already knew) that the women’s team is woefully underpaid and under awarded in prize money in comparison to their male counterparts. Then, after pretty much dismissing the alleged victims, we find out that what they’ve been saying about Bill Cosby is true – he drugged women in order to have sex with them. Then this morning is the footage of the freshman football player from FSU (now former player) punching a woman in the face in an altercation in a bar, which given his age, he shouldn’t have been in anyhow. There’s some murkiness around the circumstances there, but still, decent men don’t punch women in the face.

The soccer situation is ridiculous and FIFA should get to work leveling the playing field, so to speak. Honestly, there’s no reason the women shouldn’t be sharing the same kind of prize money as the men. We’ve seen other sports fix that situation – tennis is a good example. This year’s men’s and women’s singles champion will each take home $2.85 million dollars.

The whole Bill Cosby thing is really unfathomable and once again, the victims were shamed or ridiculed instead of being taken seriously. Sure Bill seems like a great guy but when so many women came forward, it seems like someone should have taken the situation seriously. And how, after testifying that he did exactly what they said he did, when under oath in 2005, could Bill Cosby have been so smug in denying the charges?

The former FSU student may have had the bad luck of getting into a scrape which, had it not been for his predecessor, Jameis Winston, may not have gotten him booted from school, but too bad.  He was an underage star athlete in a bar. That title comes with expectations and he didn’t live up to them.

I’m not exactly Gloria Steinem but I’m pretty outraged. The total lack of respect for women is sickening and anyone with a mother, sister, daughter or wife, should be angry.  Would it be too hard for us to start respecting everyone, regardless of race, sexual orientation or gender, or do we have to continue doing this one group at a time?

You know what song I’m going to pick today –

It’s officially Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. Those of us planning a beach trip this summer have been captivated by sharks for a while now as the news of attacks have been hitting the news. The experts say there are a few reasons shark attacks are happening – there’s warmer, saltier water and bait fish are out in mass quantities.

We generally go to the beach each summer with my sister and her family. My brother-in-law, kidding around, suggested getting a shark tank. I’m not sure where you get those so we looked around the house and found Smokey’s crate. That should work. Kathryn is demonstrating how fun it will be to use it. If I decorate it, I can post it to Pinterest later. Nothing shiny though – sharks like shiny objects.

I was chatting with a friend at work and he has been thinking about how he’s going to avoid a shark attack – he’s not going to be the farthest person out in the water and to take off his wedding ring (no shiny objects). These conversations should keep the the conversation around the water cooler going for the rest of the summer.

The kids enjoy the ocean but there’s also a sound we can swim in. Usually they complain there are no waves and the bottom is squishy but this year it may have a new appeal. Here’s hoping the sharks have moved along from the Outer Banks over the next few weeks.

Today I’ve dug up a super oldie favorite of mine for your listening pleasure, “Summer Breeze” by Seals and Croft. Sharks or not, there’s no better place to be than the beach.

Yesterday I went to see my friend Louise who was in town visiting her mom. Her mom recently moved into a retirement place. It’s one of those places that once you are in, you are in for the rest of your life. So now, while she is mobile and still in good health, she has her own apartment and as her needs change, she’ll move into the appropriate place within the community for that care.

It’s actually quite a nice place and has lots of amenities. I’d move in. You get a nice apartment and before you move in, they gut the kitchen and change the flooring to your tastes. You have linen service that comes once a week to change your sheets and give you new towels. They also vacuum. There’s a gym and pool along with a library and art studio. They have a bus to take you places and outside of just going to the grocery store, they are off to the Kennedy Center, Nationals games, out to museums etc. Honestly, what’s not to like? Oh yeah, parties with booze too.

Louise’s mom is, at almost 80, still going strong. She’s still driving, socializing and painting. She’s been planning to go there for as along as I’ve known her. She’s still adjusting but she’s joined the Trail Blazer Club (walking club) and she’s making new friends, mostly those who are able to get around like she is. Her place is a bit small for too many walkers, she explains.

Not everyone gets the chance to plan where they will be in their senior years but it seems, if you can, you should. My grandmother lived by herself for many years and she finally made the decision she needed a nursing home. This came right after a visit with my sister and so when I heard her decision, I immediately called my sister to find out what she’d done to our grandmother. But, it was having my sister there that made her realize what she really needed. Once the decision was made, my grandmother went about making her own set of rules for surviving in the home.  1. Learn everyone’s name – hard for people to be mean to you when you call them by name and 2. don’t be trouble.  She did quite well with the first and well, for the second, let’s just say some things were out of her control.

Mike and I have a bit of time before we can enjoying entertaining thoughts of retirement. Who knows what we will do? He occasionally looks at property/homes in different places that might be suitable. We’ve ruled out Florida so I guess that’s a start. Wherever we end up, as long as we are together, it should be fine. I just hope there are parties and linen service.

My friend Paru loves the 4th of July. While it has been many years since we’ve had the opportunity to celebrate together, I can’t imagine a 4th without thinking of her.

When we worked together in our 20’s, she lived in Foggy Bottom and her apartment was the place to meet before heading to the Mall to watch the fireworks. Today, the thought of getting in that crowd doesn’t even cross my mind but in those days, between our youthful attitude and her enthusiasm, there wasn’t anywhere else to be.

The year that she became a citizen, we gathered in her apartment for the 4th while she played patriotic songs. There isn’t a time I hear “God Bless the USA” that I don’t think of that day. Sometimes it takes a newer perspective for you to appreciate all you already have – sort of like when you have visitors and take them sightseeing in your city. Your city, through their eyes, becomes magical to you again. Paru showed us that day (although we gave her a bunch of grief) that America is magical.

Today as we celebrate the 4th, let’s see America through the eyes of Paru. Let’s see all the greatness that it is and that it still can be. Let’s remember and celebrate the freedoms we have, the opportunities that exist and the diversity that formed this nation and continues to do so. Let’s put aside the labels that define us – Republican, Democrat etc. and just use one today – American.

Paru is a woman of many talents. My favorites – she can make a hell of a grilled cheese and she can so wonderfully put into words, what so many of us are thinking. Today, on Fabebook she wrote “On our individual birthdays we usually think about making the next year better – today let us collectively commit to making our nation better through our words or actions.”

Happy Birthday America – here’s wishing you a great year ahead!

Here’s a little reminder of the Preamble.

Kathryn is taking an online health class. This is Montgomery County’s way to make some extra money. They force the kids to take a health class that’s worth half a credit and if they take it during the school year, the options are very limited as to what the students can take for the other half credit. Kathryn wanted to take photography but you can’t just take it for half a year. I want her to take a class or two that isn’t academic. There’s more to life than academics. Really.

The online class requires the students to go twice in person as well as doing the online work. After the first in-person class, she came out and said that they would be starting Family Life (sex ed for those of you not used to the code words we use) and there’s a group project.  Apparently those were two separate thoughts. When I asked if the group project was on Family Life, I got the response “What’s WRONG with you?”

I’m asked this question at least once a day, or more, if I’m having a good day. As a typical teenager Kathryn finds me very annoying. I have a very limited amount of activities I can do in my own home and they do not include dancing, singing, or too much joking at her expense. I ignore her. I’m gifted in that I can make the lyrics of Meghan Trainor’s “It’s All About the Bass” fit any situation. She hates that. Working on that group project – “It’s all about the group, bout group…”

This morning as I was taking her to work, she asked me if I knew the song “We love Rock and Roll.” She described is as “a song from your time.” That time is apparently the dark ages in her mind, but I managed to guess correctly “I Love Rock and Roll” by Joan Jett. She said that one of the groups at the horse camp used it for their drill while everyone else used my favorite lyricist Meghan Trainor’s songs. (“It’s all about the horse, bout the horse…”) Kathryn said it wasn’t too bad of a song. I almost asked her “What is WRONG with YOU – actually liking one of “my” songs, but I let it go.

So, today I’ve picked Joan Jett from my IPod. A song a couple of generations can actually agree is a good song.