We have a cafeteria at work and each morning we receive an email telling us the menu for that day or whether the café is closed. Sometimes, whoever sends out the email, will include some bit of trivia etc. This morning, the last line was “Have a good day on purpose.” It seemed awkward at first. Then I realized I had heard a similar message 2 other times in the last 24 hours.

Yesterday at Mass, the priest ended with the sentence – “Every day is a gift from God and what we do with that day is our gift to him.” This morning on Facebook, a friend had posted a month of small acts of kindness you could do in December. I think I finally got the message –third time is the charm –  be purposeful in how you act.

Oh sure, that’s easy to say. But I know, it’s hard. If you know me well, you might describe me as devilish with a kind streak or maybe, kind with a devilish streak. Depends on the day. And how annoying I find you. And Lord knows I love a good snarkfest. But, as we enter into the season of being all jolly and such, these messages have hit home.

When I was in the competitive intelligence field, we would look for companies and people who were big fish in a small pond. The thought was that everyone is important somewhere. Sometimes it is in your community, sometimes in an industry or company. Somewhere, everyone is important. I often think of this theory when I see people doing something fabulous in their community. Maybe they aren’t changing the world at large, but they are changing their own world. They are big fish in a small pond. I can be a big fish too.

I hope to remember that message throughout this holiday season and beyond – be purposeful in how I act. Small kindnesses add up. Let it go. Better to be kind than right. Be in the moment and have a good day (or month) on purpose.  For those who saw me today, I’m starting tomorrow.

There’s been some talk recently of putting all Muslims on some sort of watch list/database. This has been attributed to The Donald but it isn’t really that black and white. He didn’t suggest it first, a reporter did and he didn’t disagree. Either way, he’s gotten the credit, so to speak, and while not surprising, but still disheartening, he’s still going strong in the polls.

My grandmother had a list too. Her list of prejudices was based on a simple, yet not scientifically proven method – how people act in the laundromat. She had a few exceptions but generally she saw everyone through her Downey-colored glasses. I can remember being out to dinner with her and my sister as she was explaining how the Orientals are very clean in the laundromat. Kathleen explained to her that we try to use the term Asians versus Orientals. Baa-Baa took this in and continued on “The Orientals fold their laundry…” If you represented your ethnic group well whiling folding clothes, then obviously, the whole group was acceptable.

She had two exceptions to her list. She lived across the street from a Greek church and found the Greeks to be good church-going folks. Since most of Astoria, where she lived, had Greek-run businesses and people, it’s a good thing she was keen on them. Reversely, having been pretty beat up one time during a mugging, she did not hold others of her mugger’s nationality in high regard.

While my dad was in the Navy during WWII, he spent time doing intelligence. This consisted of taking in tips from people and categorizing them into threat levels. He said he was reviewing a tip and realized it was about one of his neighbors from Great Neck. This German man was into astrology and was always out looking through his telescope. Yet, with the start of the war, his neighbors now feared he was getting secret messages from the Nazis via his telescope. That tip, my dad recalled, was put in the non-creditable file.

To me, the list idea is scary. Granted, we are all probably on some list. When the government was looking at our phone records or maybe when we attended some rally, we’ve probably landed on someone’s radar.  Is that right? I don’t know. But, at what point do we say no, no to categorizing everyone in some religious, political or ethnic group as something to fear because of the acts of a few?

Some people believe that The Donald brings some good ideas to the table. I could probably cobble a few decent ideas together too, but that doesn’t qualify me for President. I’m nervous about his continual attempt to pit us against one another to make a point. It’s still early on and many things will change between now and November and in the meantime, let’s focus on the few, not the many, and support policies that reflect our true values as Americans not ones that are reflective of our fears.

Following Friday’s events in Paris, I figured that this past weekend should be spent doing things I enjoy without feeling guilty. Life is short. Housework and errands will be there whenever you get to it.

Saturday, Kathryn’s new love, Venus, told Kathryn she did not want to leave the field by giving her a nice strong kick in the back of her thigh. Luckily, it is just a nasty bruise in the shape of a hoof. While Kathryn was home icing the bruise, her attentive parents went to the UMD women’s basketball game. A nice gentleman gave us his center court seats that he wasn’t using. He said his son was nervous about being in the Xfinity Center following the Paris incident.  His fear was our gain and we enjoyed the great seats and great win.

Sunday we spent the afternoon watching the Redskin game with friends at their house. I haven’t watched a full football game all season and I guess, if I was going to watch one, Sunday’s big win for the Skins was a good one to watch. We were going to stay just until halftime – you know – so we could get home and do a few things and ended up staying the whole game. Funny how it really didn’t matter.

During my “enjoy life” weekend I also stayed clear of all political talk. No debate watching. No reading about the debate the following day. It was kind of nice. I was quiet on Facebook. A weekend voyeur.

Today it’s back to reality. Back to watching the news. Back to chores. Back to work. Everyone should take a few guilt free days or even hours and unplug. Spend time with your friends and family. Spend time with yourself. Watch that episode of “Law and Order” you’ve seen 50 times.  Hang out with your dog. Play that mindless video game. It does the mind good.

I’ve stolen today’s title from my friend Liz’s post this morning on Facebook honoring her dad and all the other veterans  today for Veterans Day. I thought it was a great way to sum up what we should be doing and feeling today and every day.

Like most people in my generation, my dad and his brothers all served in the armed services. But, by the time I came along, those days were long gone and the only tidbits I’d ever hear were stories about my uncle riding an elephant in India, another uncle involved in chemical warfare, or how my dad, as an athletic director in the Navy, taught people to swim. It wasn’t that I was looking for war stories, but the discussion of that time period was always limited to a few highlights, for lack of a better word.

The picture above is of my dad, on the left, my grandma and my Uncle Dan. Looks like my dad is being forced into taking a picture.

When I worked in Rosslyn, which is full of military offices and personnel, I was with a friend in Starbucks. A black car drove up and let a gentleman out in a military uniform. We were milling around and he ended up in line ahead of us. Very nice man. We exchanged pleasantries as we stood in line. Then we were basically pushed aside as many others, all in uniform, came over to shake his hand. We both stood there trying to figure out who he was. Turns out, after a Google image search, it was Gen. Richard B. Myers, U.S. Air Force, who at the time was the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. This position is the highest ranking military officer in the United States Armed Forces and the main military adviser to the President of the United States and we had no idea who he was. Maybe we aren’t suppose to know who these people are but wow, made us feel dumb when we realized who he was.

Whether we know who’s at the top in the military or those who are enlisted, we owe them much respect, honor and gratitude. They fight to protect all the freedoms we enjoy. Freedoms which allow us to debate whether they should be involved in conflicts or burn the flag or all the other things our Constitution allows.  They make countless and unseen sacrifices for us and we are indebted to them and their families for this service.

On Saturdays in Olney, not far from where I live, there are people who stand on opposite sides of the main intersection holding signs. On one side is the group with signs that say “Peace, not war” and on the other is the group that hold signs that say “Support our Troops.” I always wonder why they feel they are on opposite sides, because they aren’t.  Just because you may not believe we should enter military conflict, it doesn’t mean you aren’t supportive of the troops when that choice is made. Personally I think instead of spending the whole morning standing on a street corner begging for honks of support, these people should go spend that time with veterans in the hospitals nearby or help out a military family while their loved one is deployed.  That would be supporting the troops.

So today we make a special effort to say thanks to our veterans. Tomorrow let’s still remember to respect, honor and show gratitude for their service.

I’m not sure if the term “conscious unawareness” will catch on and make headlines like “conscious uncoupling” did for Gwyneth Paltrow, but you never know. I’m defining it as the willful effort to not take everything as a slight.

With the holidays upon us, there is constant chatter about how Christmas is losing its status. People aren’t saying “Merry Christmas” anymore and this is offensive to some. Somehow, the phrase “Happy Holidays” is stripping them of their Christianity. I think everyone has heard about the insensitivity of Starbucks with the introduction of the plain red cups. Another slap in the face to those who celebrate Christmas.

Fortunately for me, I am blissfully unaware of these slights. If someone says to me “Happy Hanukkah” I don’t get offended. I reply “thank you.” I don’t worry that my christian faith has been slighted. So what if I don’t celebrate, there’s nothing offensive about that statement. Where did we lose our ability to be gracious?

As for the Starbucks thing, there’s hardly any reasonable explanation as to why people are up in arms with the introduction of the red cup. At the same time people are offended by the lack of Christmas on their coffee cup, they are outraged at the sight of Christmas items in the store already. I guess since I worked a time in retail, I understand the importance of the sales in the 4th quarter so while I think it is crazy to have Christmas stuff out at Halloween, I’m not going to get too worked up about it.

Same is true if people mispronounce my name. Or call me ma’am, which I hate, because I’m not that old, but I take these things in stride. People trying to be polite. Why can’t we be polite back? So, I’m practicing my conscious unawareness. I’m saving up the righteous behavior for something that really matters.

As I thought about what I was thankful for today (and yesterday since I skipped a day), I thought of a few items. They seem to have a similar thread – all artsy. And they can all take you places you’ve been or want to go.

I’m thankful for music. Music is the backdrop of our lives. You hear a song and it can instantly take you back to an event years ago, or remind you of a person who loves (or hates) that song or artist and it can take you places far from where you are. Of course, not all music is to everyone’s liking. And some songs, in particular, stand out as duds. My friend John has recently reminded me of two of those gems – “Muskrat Love” and “I’ve Never Been to Me.” I remember both of these 70’s hits quite well although I will admit I’ve never examined the lyrics that closely until this past week when John and I have been texting lines back and forth. We’ve added a few other Captain and Tennille songs and a Neil Diamond one in the mix too. It’s amazing the conversations you can have with just song lyrics.

Along with music, I love books. Love to read. Now that I’m old and need reading glasses, I don’t read quite as much as I used to because I don’t enjoy falling asleep and then waking up with my glasses smashed up against my face. I’m a fan of audio books and will listen to them on my way to and from work. But, there is something about holding a book. I remember in one of the “Sex in the City” movies, Big tells Carrie she’s about the only person he knows that still goes to the library. Yep, me and Carrie sharing the love of books and Big.

And finally, I’m thankful for photos. Like music, you can go backwards or forwards in your life looking at photos. Places you’ve been, places you want to go to. Reminder of people who are no longer here or just no longer in our lives. Memories of great times. Remembrances of tragedies. Fashion disasters and great hair days. Sure, we’ve gone a bit nutty with all the selfies but I get the sentiment behind wanting to capture your life with a click.

Tonight I’m also thankful I found this video of “Muskrat Love” online. It’s a classic.

Yesterday I was too tired when I got home to be thankful for anything but the opportunity to relax so tonight I will catch up on my daily item of thanks.

Today I’m grateful for street smarts and blue highways. In my experience people have either more street smarts or more book smarts. I have more street smarts which I equate with common sense. I’m never going to be a Rhodes Scholar or a winner on “Jeopardy” unless they let me compete on kids week, and I’m fine with that. I’m content having common sense – sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts. Sadly no one asks if you have common sense when you are on a job interview. Hard to highlight it on a resume. Certainly we need both but I’ve found I’ve used my common sense many more times in life than stuff I learned from a book.

In William Least Heat-Moon’s book “Blue Highways” he chronicles traveling on the “blue highways” of America – the back roads that on maps, are indicated in blue. I’ve taken the blue highways professionally and like the back roads of America, it has been a colorful adventure.

I’m not someone who really knew what they wanted to be when they grew up and I’m still deciding today. I wanted to be a paramedic for a while, but mostly so I could ride with Johnny Gage, the character on “Emergency.”

I earned a degree in Mass Communications, with an emphasis in advertising but I’ve never worked in an ad agency. I’ve used those creative skills in other jobs and in volunteer positions. I started off after college doing special events at shopping malls. I decided to seek other employment the year I was jealous of the Easter display at another mall. Jealous of a better Easter Bunny costume. That’s when you realize it is time to get a real job.

The “real” job I took was a seminar coordinator for a company that specialized in competitive intelligence, more or less, legal corporate spying. I spent the next 18 years in that industry. I did everything everything from meeting planning, marketing, conducting secondary research, and early on, running the business for about five years for an absentee owner.  Through a number of sales and acquisitions, the company we knew was gone and finally our group was cleared out.

After some time free-lancing as a secondary researcher, I took the job with the Washington Ireland Program and then after a few years moved onto my current position. In my current job, I’m able to use a lot of the skills I’ve picked up along my blue highway travels, and have carved out an interesting role for myself.

Some people were made to work one place in their careers and I admire that and have at times, envied that but truthfully, I’m thankful for the path I’ve taken, the people that those travels have allowed me to meet and am excited to see where those paths lead me going forward.

So today I guess I’m thankful for the street smarts that have allowed me to survive and thrive along the blue highways.

With Halloween over, it is now on to Christmas, at least if you are in the retail world. I thought I would slow down the holidays a bit and reflect on Thanksgiving. A few years ago I posted one item a day on Facebook I was thankful for and I think I will recreate that here. It will be interesting (at least to me) to see if the list remains the same.

Today I’m thankful for traditions. Traditions become the string that binds generations of families and friends. When you realize something has become a tradition, it is usually when you don’t do it and someone complains.  It’s actually kind of nice. Wow,” I will think to myself, “all these years of busting my ass to do X, and they actually noticed”

Today, we are celebrating Matthew’s birthday. For birthdays, one of our traditions is to get themed plates for cake.   Everyone, every age,  gets themed plates. Matthew’s plates tonight are the Power Rangers. No real reason except when I saw them today I remembered how he liked that show as a kid. Kathryn was mad he broke his own tradition of wanting a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and instead asked for a caramel apple pie. This may be a new tradition for him.

Last week, I was talking with my sister about her plans for Thanksgiving and we were discussing menus. Menu planning is when you really see how foods play such a big role in traditions.  God forbid you change up a holiday menu. You can add items, but not take them away.

In our house, Thanksgiving has a few traditions. First, Jonathan will call and ask if we are going to have a dry turkey again this year. Emphasis on again. I can honestly say, I do not remember ever having a dry or bad turkey here so I take this as a joke although he seems to believe it is rooted in truth. As my sister said when we were talking about this – “That’s what gravy is for.”

Another tradition involves me. About two days before Thanksgiving, I will ask my sister for a cranberry apple dish recipe that she makes and that I’ve adopted. I think last year was the first time in 15 years, I haven’t asked for it. I finally saved the recipe but there’s no guarantee I will find it again this year.

Christmas has its own set of traditions. First it begins with getting the tree. We shop for one on Thursday night. Then it is the putting on of the ornaments and laughing at the ones the kids made throughout the years.  My favorite tradition is putting up the nativity set that we have. It’s the one we used when I was a kid. Not only is it just beautiful on its own, there’s somehow an unspoken contest to see who gets to put the angel on it. I remember arguing with my sister about who got to do this. Nothing says Christmas like arguing over the nativity set. And as an adult, I have to be nice and let the kids put it on if they want, but secretly I still want to do it.

The beauty about traditions is that they change as we do. Circumstances might force us to create new traditions but there’s always something left from a previous one. That’s what I love about traditions – these rituals take the best of the old and reinvent themselves into the new. I love the way traditions remind us of how the small things mean so much.

This weekend, a year ago, we decided to take a fall trip to the beach. The weather was still warm and the kids had a 3 day weekend because of the Maryland State Education Association Convention. I know a lot of teachers and I’ve one known one to ever go…just saying…Don’t see too many check ins on Facebook from the convention.

Anyhow, the night before we were leaving, I was feeling a bit under the weather with a cold coming on. I decided to take a bit of NyQuil before bed to help me sleep. I went and got the bottle and took a swig. Not a “both checks filled with liquid” swig but a swig. I slept well and when the alarm clock went off at 5am, I got up, got dressed and put my stuff together. I went and sat on the couch. Sometime later Mike came out and asked me what I was doing. “Getting ready,” I said. “No,” he replied, “you are staring at the floor.” “Oh.” And I got up to put some stuff in the car.

That should have been the first clue something was off. We got in the car and drove to pick up my stepson. After that we were headed out of town and I was passed out in the passenger’s seat, propped up by the arm rest and my seat belt. We stopped in Williamsburg, a few hours away for breakfast. I ate, participated in conversation, was awake while we got gas and then boom, I was out like a light again. I awakened just as we were entering Kitty Hawk and was able to stay awake while we found our hotel and got checked in.

We headed out to the beach. I love the water but this day, it was all I could do to get to the beach and flop down. After a brief nap, 90 minutes or more, I awoke. I sat up, still groggy, looking at the water and it finally occurred to me that maybe I had overdone it with the NyQuil. I was basically reenacting “A Weekend at Bernie’s” being propped up most of the way in the car. I thought about getting in the water, but it was a little rough following a storm and I seriously doubted I could maintain control.

It wasn’t until after dinner that I actually felt halfway alive again. I was afraid to even take an aspirin all weekend in case the NyQuil level was still high.

So, lesson learned. Some things require exact measurements. NyQuil and baking are two of them.

Today Mike and I were out at the mall. While he was looking for shoes, I was milling around in the store. There were a few displays with signs over them that said something along the lines of “Perfect Gifts for your White Elephant Gift Exchange.”  This sign should have read “Crap People Don’t Want or Need.” I made a bee line for them.

The first display had items with a hunting theme. While I don’t know a lot of hunters, I do know people who would appreciate some of the items. Actually, only one person came to mind – my sister.

The first item that caught my eye was a 3-D puzzle which when completed, looked like a moose head mounted on a wall. My thought was to give it to my nephew Liam, who loves puzzles, and once he completes it, he could give it to her. She couldn’t not display it. She wouldn’t be a fan but she wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings either. It would be fantastic.

I then noticed a huge cow bell. Seems like ringing a cow bell wouldn’t be the way to successfully sneak up on an animal while hunting but who knows? I’m not a hunter. Maybe you use it if you fall out of the tree stand or accidentally shoot the person who is hunting with you. I’m not sure but I know my sister needed a cow bell.

I’ve actually joked about having a cow bell since I attended my first cross country meet a few years ago. My stepson Jonathan was running and I went to watch. There was a mom next to me with a huge, loud cow bell which she rang pretty much the entire meet while she screamed “Go baby, you go” and “That’s my baby – look at you go.” I offered to obtain a bell and work on my cheers for Jonathan but he assured me it wasn’t necessary. In fact, I’ve offered that kind of support for all the kids, regardless of the sports, even now with Kathryn in band, but they all give me the same look and response. Just trying to be supportive.

Anyhow, my nephew Max runs cross country and Kathleen needs a bell to show she cares. I immediately took a picture, sent it to her asking what Max’s school colors are. The best part of the cow bell was the fact that the top of the handle doubled as a bottle opener. That way you can also drink while using it thus fueling your cheering and ringing abilities.

There were a few other items like bottle openers that have a top that looked like a mounted bear or moose. That, at least, is useful. More useful was the next display that had ice scrapers shaped like cat claws and other animal paws. I know each year something is popular – maybe this is the year of the animal.

The next display was devoted to drinking. There was a flask that was at least as big as a sheet of notebook paper. Then there were small flasks with cute sayings on them. There were more bottle openers. There were wine glasses the size of a gallon of milk. Who doesn’t need these items?

The best part?  All of this fine stuff was on sale for the Columbus Day holiday. The cow bell was only $11.99 on sale. Christmas discounts in October. Sure, some of you have already finished your shopping. And to you I say, how nice. I’ll get started after bedazzling that cow bell for my sister.